PHILOSOPHY
adapting to loss
A journey of discovering what can’t be broken.
Loss takes us from the life we knew and forces us to find new ground.
Our familiar world is left behind, and we enter a liminal space—no longer where we were and unsure of where we’re going. With no choice but to release what was, we have to learn how to be with what is.
Navigating the psychological and spiritual challenges of adapting to loss is a journey into the hardest parts of being human. But there is a path of healing that reveals what remains when everything’s changed.
Poet Rashani Réa describes it as “a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken, a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable.” When things fall apart, we’re called to discover the wholeness that lies within.
“Only from such a place of loss and longing can we begin remembering ourselves home.”
Being with grief
creating meaning
revisioning reality
The journey through loss is as unique as the traveler, but it often involves these universal challenges. Wherever you are, I’ll meet you there.
BEING WITH GRIEF
We are hardwired to want to avoid pain. And we live in a culture that pathologizes “dark” emotions. But when we hold grief at a distance, we lose contact with our inner being—the part of us that sees beauty, feels love, experiences awe, and connects with what we hold sacred.
Grief is how our psyche and spirit heal. Author/therapist and soul-activist, Francis Weller, writes about the need to develop an “apprenticeship with sorrow.” Because when we’re able to trust that we can be with what hurts, something transformative occurs.
Deep sadness for what we’ve lost can give rise to gratitude for what remains. Fear of life’s fragility can expand our ability to live fully. Despair can guide us toward what matters most. It’s a mindfulness-based process described as emotional alchemy—turning what’s dark into light.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
creating MEANING
After a loss, the world as it was previously understood and experienced no longer exists. Our most basic, fundamental assumptions about order, predictability, safety, control, and justice are called into question.
It’s natural to search for a reason why as we try to make meaning of the bad things that happen. But it’s often more helpful to turn our attention to how. How will I choose to respond?
Maybe it’s a choice to meet ourselves gently in the presence of pain, to realign our priorities with what matters most, or to embrace the lessons that loss teaches us about love. When we’re ready, in our own time, there is wisdom to be gathered from our journey through the dark.
“Regardless of how your heart is broken, your choice is always the same: what will you do with your pain?”
REVISIONING REALITY
We don’t simply perceive reality; we create it through the story we live by—how we remember the past, understand the present, and imagine the future.
Loss changes our life story. It draws a clear line between before and after. Since there’s no returning to who we were, we are asked to rediscover who we are. And consider who we want to be.
Revisioning is the work of integrating what’s been lost and allowing ourselves to be transformed. As we adapt to what feels unacceptable, something new becomes possible...
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”